Dear Decent Dudes Who Are Appalled By Their Connections To Shitty Dudes

haiku-robot:

malloryomeara:

Please stop looking for comfort from the women in your life. I have comforted far too many men in the past two months, men who are shaken up over sexual predators in the entertainment industry being called out. Way too many being any amount more than zero, but it my case, it’s over ten.

“This terrible dude worked on my project! People are going to think I’m a creep, too!”

“I’m a good guy, but I have to be careful what I say now!”

“So-and-so garbage person is responsible for my career! I’m in such an awkward position!”

“That dude helped my film! So uncomfortable for me! I have to make a statement!”

You, sir, are upset, uncomfortable, awkward about the fact that the creep helped or contributed to your career in some way. It’s understandable. You’re a decent dude. You’re a feminist. Misogyny makes you angry. We feel you, bro. It sucks.

Hold on, though. Let’s take a quick step back and focus on that word, career. Your career. Because you got one. That’s right. You’re a writer or a director or a producer or an artist in some way.

Now, imagine all the women that didn’t get a career because of the same dude. They weren’t given a director role, weren’t hired to write, weren’t chosen to produce, weren’t promoted to creative director. They were too afraid of sexual predation, too exhausted to deal with the daily misogyny, or maybe they were passed over for a job or a promotion because they turned down the advances of some lecherous motherfucker, or not even considered at all because they weren’t deemed attractive.

While you’re wringing your hands over your feature film deal, or optioned screenplay or sold manuscript, some talented woman is watching you and ready to punch a hole in a wall.

We hear you, we do. We don’t want to. Not right now. We get it, you’re surprised, you’re shocked. But we’re not. There are thousands and thousands of us in publishing, film, music, fashion, all of the arts, that not only do not have the time to listen to how awkward you feel, but do not have enough emotional wherewithal after dealing with our own reactions to the situation to listen to you lament about the ways you profited and now feel bad about it.

Ask us how we’re doing instead. Ask how you can help. The least you can do after benefiting from some garbage man is to offer a hand to someone who has been harmed.

Love,
A Woman Who Is Sick Of Hearing It At Industry Events

love a woman who
is sick of hearing it at
industry events


^Haiku^bot^0.5. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. | Who do I read? | Contact | Beep-boop!

freedom-of-fanfic:

Choosing to not get involved in shipper/anti discourse does not make you ‘part of the problem’

If anyone tells you you’re an ‘apologist’ because you just talk about/reblog what you love in fandom and ignore people who attack ships and people who complain about their ships being attacked, that’s nonsense.

You do you. You have fun. You have no responsibility to stake your position or have an opinion at all.

Thanks for being a fun part of fandom. 🙂

vijara:

look: the right people will get it. the right people will see you and appreciate you for the person that you are. the right people won’t require you to dilute, censor, or edit yourself in order to be worthy of their time and affection. you don’t need to waste your time on people who are committed to misunderstanding you