auncyen:

anonymoustypewriter:

androxibot:

Advice for all women regardless of sexuality, but particularly for women dating men: if your own dreams are always getting sidelined to help your significant other achieve theirs, something is very wrong. You are not a step ladder to success.

Also don’t ever fall for the trick of “Hey, you work and pay the bills and rent while I’M going to college, and then when I graduate I’ll do it for you!” Cause I’ve seen that shit happen three times okay and literally every time they broke it off before it was the guy’s turn to deliver on their end. This is legit a scam. 

Going back to the regardless of sexuality, because this definitely isn’t a men-only thing: my sister supported her wife through college. Shortly after she graduated, GUESS WHICH ONE STARTED CHEATING. Things went down in flames after that and, of course, the help was never reciprocated.

It’s not bad to help your SO, and in some situations it might make sense to make some sacrifice. But don’t make yourself miserable for the “one day”. Don’t shelve your own dreams for theirs.

Also in the vein of putting yourself out for a significant other, for the love of god, do not cosign ANYTHING for a boyfriend/girlfriend unless you could and would be willing to buy it outright for them if they needed. When you cosign a $15k car loan you are telling the bank “Hey, I’m good for the $15k if my boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t pay”. Are you okay with giving up $15k? No? THEN DON’T COSIGN.

vulgarweed:

anti-anti-survivor:

zoobus:

revolutionarygays:

@ my fellow adults who use tumblr a lot:

can you PLEASE put your age in your about/sidebar and make sure it’s accessible on mobile. imo if you’re an adult esp 20+ it’s a little weird that you wouldn’t have your age readily available on your blog. if you’re reading this now and you don’t have your age listed, please rectify that. i feel like teenagers get lured into talking to adults in fandom/lgbt spaces that they may not have intentionally sought out because they think they’re talking to other teenagers, and this can lead to a lot of other – much more insidious –problems

Can you guys step out of the tumblr “everyone over 20 is inherently predatory and creepy towards children” bubble for once and consider that encouraging people to give up their personal information for the imagined safety of the community is like…not safe?

this advice doesn’t even make sense for multiple reasons; if someone is intent on preying upon minors, all they have to do is follow your advice and lie about their age, being over 20 doesn’t mean you can’t be preyed on yourself, you should never be coerced into giving up your privacy on social media (seriously, did a fed write this?), and promoting the idea that turning 20 means your interactions with younger people should be viewed with suspicion is absolutely harmful, like OP do you have any common sense? At all?

“ignore your own privacy boundaries and discomfort and if you don’t idk 🤔sounds a lil sus 2 me, pedophile” will you guys stop larping as conservative politicians for one second please

think-of-the-children fearmongering is not the same thing as actually protecting minors

You’re talking about – much more insidious – problems while telling people if you don’t do what I tell you, you might be a threat to the safety of our community, like okay Dubya!

Also there’s a big fucking problem with kids oversharing information about this website to begin with, and pushing the mindset that if you don’t have your age- which is in fact a piece of personal information- readily available on your blog you’re a bad person is bad, no matter whether you’re an adult or not.

YOU DO NOT OWE STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET ANY PERSONAL INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF.

REPEAT: NO ONE OWES ANY STRANGER ANY PERSONAL INFO WHATSOEVER.

This goes for adults and minors both – and honestly, I don’t think minors should advertise the fact that they are. It’s not like that’s going to drive predators away–very much the opposite.

There is nothing “shady” about having personal boundaries and choosing to keep personal information private – and when in doubt, it’s always safest to err on the side of privacy. For everyone. What creeps me out is people demanding to know things that are none of their business. Age is the most innocuous probably but I’ve also seen people on here demanding to know complete strangers’ disabilities, traumas, survivor status, etc, just for the purpose of winning a fucking internet argument. THOSE are the truly skeevy people.

why fanworks are such a convenient social scapegoat

freedom-of-fanfic:

(this post is mostly an expansion on the twitter thread i did a while back, which addressed this question: why is fanfiction often blamed for harming young people in fandom? (please also read the spinoff additions to the end of the thread, which start here.)

this post deliberately does not address whether or not fandom should have particular social expectations/obligations. I think these ethical questions are complicated and require nuanced address, particularly because of how social media works these days. rather, this is my offered explanation for why fanworks are the chosen scapegoat for the cumulative harm of systemic social problems.)

Note this post is US-centric because the scapegoating of fanworks seems to come primarily from Americans in English-speaking fandom spaces.

I think that because fanworks have long been slapped with warnings of dark content (abuse, noncon/dubcon, etc) it’s difficult for me to believe they directly play a major part in setting young people up for abusive situations irl … for the most part.  It’s less the fanworks themselves and more the environment in which fanworks have been presented over the last 5-8 years.

In my opinion, the sad irony is that fanworks only have the potential to cause direct harm by causing people to believe their contents are models for safe sex/relationships/etc because of the expectation that fandom is a space for education.

fanworks have been around for ages, but currently they are:

  • in a post 9/11 social environment where the unknown/unfamiliar is feared, critical thinking is discouraged, safety is prioritized over freedom, and censorship is treated as protection, 

    •  (but information is available in unchecked quantities that outstrips the individual’s ability to process it);
  • available in a viral-sharing environment featuring nigh-infinite freedom/no moderating authority and on a highly-networked, easily-searched internet;
  • where young people are often more expert at navigation than their guardians, and thus easily able to access content that isn’t age-appropriate/safe for them
    • (but being young people, they often think they’re ready for that content);
  • furthermore, content that is not only inappropriate for their age/maturity, but also on topics that they will never/have never received a proper, thorough education on
    • (because schools have their hands tied by religiously-motivated regulations and guardians have abdicated responsibility for sex ed and lack acceptance for non-straight/non-cis identities);
  • targeted marketing has encouraged and exacerbated existing stratification by income, age, gender, and sexual orientation; and
  • increasing social awareness is constantly creating tension between social tradition and social advancement, putting incredible stress on anyone who represents ‘advancement’.

On that last point, my thread and this post are particularly concerned with (perceived) women, who are burdened by both traditional and ‘progressive’ social roles:*

  • women are traditionally seen as child caretakers, educators, and burdened with upholding social morality as the heart of homemaking. all perceived women have to deal with this social expectation.
  • as agents of social advancement, those perceived as women are still burdened with educating the ignorant and being ‘good examples’, as their mistakes will be magnified as evidence that tradition is better.

*these problems are SUPER magnified by being non-white. (and I didn’t even get into the sexual expectations.)

As an isolated space, fandom – with majority women and/or afab participation – did a pretty good job of shaking off the social expectation that perceived women are educators and caretakers. but when fandom gained visibility by the move to tumblr and Google trawling tumblr content/content going viral + all the social factors above, the ‘(perceived) women as educators’ expectation came back on fandom, and with additional exacerbation:

  • in a culture focused on purity and prioritizing safety over freedom, disgust & feelings of shame both act like a moral compass & a safety warning. fandom’s judgement-free attitude about nsfw/kinky/horrible-irl content looks like a community of people who condone all these things as ‘safe’, if that’s how you’ve been taught to view the world. 
    • Basically: if the people who are writing/creating this stuff are treating it as nothing to be ashamed of, it must not be dangerous. right?
    • Combined with the not-unusual adolescent belief that you’re ready for literally anything and know more than most adults, it’s a recipe for disaster.
  • fanworks often echo aspects of the source material, including aspects that are not healthy: canon romanticization of abusive relationship dynamics, for instance. Fanworks that share canon’s unhealthy features can become a form of reinforcement/seen as tacit approval of existing messages in mass media for fans who don’t have outside education to protect them.
    • in fact, fanworks are often (deliberately or not) ‘in dialogue’ with the existence of these kinds of harmful cliches. it’s important to view fanworks as what they frequently are: individual reactions/remixes/retakes on things in mass media and real life, created by victims/potential victims of the harm those things can cause. (viral sharing sites often separate these works from this context.)
  • on fandom tumblr in particular, people are consuming a cominbation of fanworks, fantasies about fictional characters that may or may not be nsfw, educational posts about safe sex / queer/lgbt history / sexual orientiations / gender identity / being a good ally / intersectionalism, and the importance of minority representation in mass media. conflating fanworks with good representation & educational content seems a natural consequence.
  • within fandom spaces, the expectation is that fans are enlightened on social justice issues. as victims of marginalization, or at least people who are constantly exposed to education on marginalization, we obviously know better than creators of mass media.  This contributes to the attitude that fan content should be ‘better’. 
    • Ironically, the content warnings, lack of fan culture shame, and the creators being vulnerable to negative responses together contribute to making fanworks/fan creators unusually visible examples of ‘corrupting’ content to point at and condemn.

between terrible education, a reactionary and conservative background radiation to English-speaking internet culture thanks to the US being a mess, and the fact most people are blind to social constructs that have formed their whole worldview, fanworks are getting a really bad rap.

altogether: fanworks are treated as being on par with mass media, social expectations, and culture norms in terms of the harm they can cause, even though they have comparatively little visibility and are usually created by marginalized people with little relative influence. They are reactions to mass media, social expectations, and culture norms rather than the cause of them.

however, because fanworks are easy to access without supervision, open about the content being potentially harmful, and produced by people who should ‘know better’ or are perceived as caretakers/educators, fanworks get blamed for the cumulative effect of culture/mass media/social norms. And unfortunately, because young people have formed expectations that fanworks will educate them due to those same social norms, the possibility that people will treat fanworks as models for social behavior or comprehensive guidelines to material they lack education on is increased.

I can’t hope to propose a comprehensive solution in this post. Taken altogether, fandom is really the tip of a large iceberg of systemic problems: sexist expectations, lack of outside education, and a reactionary cultural environment are the underlying issues.

 Anything fandom can do on its own will amount to little more than a band-aid. Antis will never wipe out potentially harmful fanworks, and all the declarations by fandom members that they abdicate responsibility for educating young fandom people won’t make society less expectant of us.  

the only things I know we have to do in the long run is keep fighting for real sex ed, keep warning for and flagging adult-oriented fan content, and do our best to respect each other’s taste and comfort levels. (and it would be a lie to say that I expect any of it to be easy.)

shipping-isnt-morality:

i honestly and truly don’t want to hear “but what if young people see it and get the wrong idea!!!” ever again.

1. if it’s an adult work, it should be flagged. if it’s not flagged, report it.

2. if it’s not nsfw per se but is dealing with a sensitive topic – regardless of how it is dealing with that topic, whether a criticism, an exploration, or a neutral portrayal – that topic should be tagged. if it’s not tagged, ask the author to tag it. if they refuse to, block and move on, they’re not worth the energy.

3. plain and simple, fandom is not suited for teaching people about healthy relationships. it’s a wild mix of people who grew up with all kinds of biases, trying to accomplish all kinds of goals, very few of whom have the expertise or life experience to portray a healthy relationship in a way that’s both compelling and realistic.

4. real world education about healthy relationships needs to be happening. i’ve talked about this before. fiction can be a launching off point, a commonality to talk about what is healthy and unhealthy in a relationship, but minors need actual education about relationships. fiction just isn’t going to give an in-depth understanding of real-world sexism, or debunk rape myths, or truly allow people to distinguish between depictions of healthy and unhealthy behavior. 

fandom needs more tagging, and all of society needs more education. nobody needs more harassment, less content, or more fear.

caledoniaseries:

rainbow-femme:

So whenever i would watch movies and see The Badass Female Character fighting in various ways, something about it always bugged me. I just assumed it was internalized misogyny that made me dislike characters like black widow and Tauriel and tried to make myself like them.

Then I was rewatching Mad Max Fury Road the other day and I noticed that nothing bothered me about watching Furiosa fight and I realized the problem wasn’t watching women fight in movies that got on my nerves.

Watching the stereotypical Badass Female Character she always has these effortless moves and a cocky, sexy smirk on her face as everything is easy. Watching Furiosa, she grunted and bared her teeth. Her fighting was hard and it took effort and it hurt like fighting is supposed to. For once her fighting style wasn’t supposed to seduce the audience it was to be effective.

I wasn’t disliking these characters because they were women I was disliking that their fighting was meant to remind me they were women. High heels and shapely outfits and not showing effort or discomfort because it’s more attractive to effortlessly lift a long leather clad leg over your head rather than rugby tackle someone.

It’s the same with the Wonder Woman movie too. Fighting is hard and it takes effort, blocking bombs and bullets with a shield makes her grimace and bare her teeth with the effort it takes. She’s not flip kicking bombs she’s yelling and straining, not because she’s weak or bad at fighting but because that’s what it would be like.

I really hope we’re moving into an era of women having fighting styles designed for realism and not how hot it looks for the men in the audience.

THIS.

elfwreck:

ardwynna:

atttaboy:

lesbt21:

ardwynna:

tugoslav:

lesbt21:

lordhellebore:

lesbt21:

ardwynna:

lesbt21:

weconqueratdawn:

ardwynna:

I wonder where the break happened that such wide swaths of younger fans don’t grasp fandom things that used to be unspoken understandings. That fic readers are expected to know fiction from reality,  that views expressed in fic are not necessarily those of the author, that the labels, tags and warnings on various kinkfics are also the indication that they were created for titillation and not much more, please use responsibly as per all pornography. The ‘problem’ isn’t that so-called ‘problematic’ fic exists but that some of the audience is being stupid, irresponsible, at worst criminal, at best not old enough to be in the audience to begin with. And that’s on the consumer, not the author who told you via labels, tags, ratings, warnings and venues what their fic was about and what it was for.

I can’t stress enough how important this post is

op we get it you’re upset that you can’t read pedo porn without reprecussions online anymore now log off

Your peer group is eating tide pods. You guys are in no position to be making decisions about anything.

if ur comeback to “don’t be a pedo” is “well at least i dont have stupid peers on the internet” ur… mmmmm gross

It’s actually the perfect response, because let’s face it, insisting that reading/writing fiction is on the same level as sexually molesting children or consuming real child porn in which real children are sexually molested…well, that’s the intellectual equivalent of eating tide pods.

i would rather eat every single tide pod in existence than have this be the autocomplete when googling my username:

Ten years from now you will suddenly recall this moment and truly understand what an utter dumbass you were.

we get it ur old and like children now please go jerk off elsewhere

just because you put a disclaimer on something doesnt make it okay oh my fucking god..fiction or not pedophilia is fucking gross and not a kink and being the fucking “intellectual” you are, you should fucking know better

Pedophilia has a legal definition that is NOT ‘any fictional couple with an age gap’, ‘fictional couples younger than the author’ or ‘fictional pairings I just don’t like’. Get that through your head and then there might be a conversation worth having.

It’s not even “fictional couple with one member younger than the author (or reader) and one older.”

The more of these arguments I read, the more they seem like teenagers are appalled that adults have sex lives at all, and that their memories include being sexually active or sexually interested teenagers. They are deeply upset that we’re willing to create stories based on mashups of our own experiences and what we’ve imagined at different stages of our lives.

And of course, they are fixated on the notion that “wants to read or write something” means “wants it to happen in real life.” (This is why crime thrillers are banned and action movies only appeal to mass murderers, right?)

alittlebitofhufflepuff:

pervocracy:

Me in history class: Wow, humanity has been through some fascinating times!  I wonder if I’ll ever live through major historical events!

Me now: NO NO NO NO NO I WANT TO GET OFF THIS RIDE

it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be space tr

placebonut:

lilly-white:

sephypussyindulgence:

rp-sephiroth:

monsterous-angels:

sephypussyindulgence:

I honestly Cannot Relate to skinny white dude castings of Sephiroth bc:

1. He is pretty muscular

2. He is biracial, did y’all forget his father is Asian

Are you talking about canon or fanon art/castings of Sephiroth? Because even in his canon depictions he tends to vary a little in facial structure/height/size/body type depending on the artist/development team/art director of the project he’s appearing in.

Please don’t present your personal head-canon as facts that all other people have to adhere to! I want to point out…

1) White boys can be skinny. It’s a body type that exists everywhere in the world, it’s just more common in Asia. In the perspective of colonialist discourse (a theme integral to the original game), the message is even stronger if Sephiroth is cast as white.

2) The whole “who is the father” debate is deliberately ambiguous. There has been fandom discussion about it without conclusive answer.

The real argument is that Sephiroth is fictional character and everyone can imagine him the way they want. 

Sorry, but my personal headcanons are facts that all other ppl have to adhere to. That’s just the rules and I can’t do aything about it 🤷

Jokes aside, I’m literally just gonna ignore the first point bc I’ve read it three times and cannot figure out what it has to do w/my post.

I actually believe the opposite in that Sephiroth being half-Wutaian would actually engage with the fact that in the real world, natives of colonized lands have often joined forces with the colonialists for either personal benefit or because they’ve been intentionally raised in such an environment that they begin to sympathize with the colonizers rather than fellow natives. It’s that whole ‘Indian in blood but British in thought, taste, manner’ thing. Like Shinra in and of itself is the colonialist entity, and the parallels between it and real life colonial powers could not be more blatant. You don’t need Sephiroth to be white to reinforce that message, in fact him being half-Wutaian would add that level of complexity to the whole thing.

Honestly, I don’t know where in canon it was ever left ambiguous, given the fact that they’ve clearly had Hojo say that he’s Sephiroth’s father and flashbacks only strengthen his claims. I’m sorry, but as far as I can see, fandom speculation more than canon brings the ambiguity.

Honestly, I am very ambivalent about that argument bc it’s often a cheap cop out. I mean, there’s a lot of room for critical thought in this situation, and if there’s a very damn good chance that Sephiroth is biracial, why on earth would ppl go about erasing that? Why should we write that off? And also, my main problem is that ‘White boys galore’ seems to be the most popular option and any other sort of depiction seems to be so rare.

Sephiroth being half-Wutaian would actually engage with the fact that in the real world, natives of colonized lands have often joined forces with the colonialists for either personal benefit or because they’ve been intentionally raised in such an environment that they begin to sympathize with the colonizers rather than fellow natives. It’s that whole ‘Indian in blood but British in thought, taste, manner’ thing.

Totally agree that this would be a really relevant angle to take. I’d read the hell out of a fic that explored this sort of characterisation for Sephiroth.

I really like the idea of using Wutai as a way of exploring colonial issues within FFVII’s universe. A biracial character in a position like Sephiroth would make for a very interesting study. It’s definitely not canon though. Hojo’s birthplace is never mentioned anywhere that I can remember (or Google quickly), Western fans just decided that because he has straight black hair and narrow eyes he must come from the in-game place where kimono are worn. Wutai isn’t Asia, we’ve just applied real world assumptions and cultural bias to a fantasy world. A fantasy world invented by Japanese people who probably perceive ALL their characters as Asian.