Ok so I was looking for historical slang terms for penis (gotta be era-accurate when writing vintage dick jokes) and I came across….something
some linguist compiled a literal timeline of genitalia slang–a cock compendium, if you will–that dates back all the way to the fucking 13th CENTURY. This motherfucker tracked the evolution of erection etymology through 800+ years, because if he doesn’t do it, who else will? Thank you for your service, Johnathon Green.
Some of my favorites include:
Shaft of Delight (1700s)
Womb Sweeper (1980s)
Master John Goodfellow (1890s)
Nimble-Wimble (1650s)
Corporal Love (1930s)
Staff of Life (1880s)
Spindle (1530s)
As good as ever twanged (1670s)
Gaying Instrument (1810s)
Beef Torpedo (1980s)
and last but not least, the first recorded use of the word Schlong, which was in 1865 CE. Tag yourself, I’m Nimble Wimble
And are the lovely ladies feeling left out? not to worry! Johnathon’s got you covered, gals, because he also made one for vaginas. Highlights:
Mrs. Fubb’s Parlor (1820s)
Poontang (1950s)
Spunk Box (1720s)
Ringerangroo (1930s)
Ineffable (1890s)
Itching Jenny (1890s)
Carnal Mantrap (1890s – a busy decade apparently)
Bookbinder’s Wife (1760s)
Rough Malkin (1530s)
Socket (1460s)
and a personal favorite, crinkum-crankum, circa approximately 1670.
One Aeriseph commission down, two do go! 😀 As always, Aeris’s braid gets more attention than like 90% of the rest of the pic. :’D This was commissioned by @sakurablossomhime!
One of the horses in the paddock near work had his binglewhapper out this morning and the traffic backed up around the bend from people slowing down to see. Yes, yes, horse cock is huge, move it along, ya blooming rubberneckers, people are trying to get to work.
I’m afraid of drawing water so please enjoy this romantic pink mist
So maybe Aer does have some decent skills with the staff, but that pretty – and restrictive – dress is a better image for business. If she ever decides to go all out…
There is never a dull day at my job. This afternoon a guy strolled into the office end of the joint with a backpack, announced that he had goods for sale and started whipping out lingerie and fetish wear. When I asked him if he had anything else he brought out the vibrators.
Since it’s come up, I actually regret not buying the tassel pasties. I’d like to see if the girls can do that helicopter thing before they start to sag.
I would expect this of a stripper.
You are a doctor… like, a medical doctor.
*sits down*
Just… how?
Call it a study of age-related changes in mobility. >_>
Just gonna leave this right here, as well as a disclaimer that actual bellydance performed by professionals is not like this:
Ardwynna's Place 