boogiepopular:
shipping-isnt-morality:
cadet-ral:
reminder that if you ship ereri you’re fucking disgusting! 🙂
that’s a child and a man in his 30s!
besides that, do you honestly expect them to be romantic based on their interactions?? no!! that’s a mentor/student relationship!!!
honestly super gross and you’re immediately on my suspect list if you ship this gross shit!
look out, shippers, or you’ll end up on tumblr user cadet-ral’s list of people suspected of Shipping Crimes
In the fandom justice system, shipping based offenses are considered especially heinous. On Tumblr, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Anti Shipping Unit. These are their stories.
FADE IN:
[Ice-T is standing across the table from some white cishet woman, interrogating her]
Ice-T: We went through your phone and what do you think we found? [holds up a screenshot of AO3]
Woman: A fanfic?
Ice-T: Not just any fanfic. A Shieth fanfic. What kind of nasty pedo ships a literal child with an adult?
Woman: Aren’t they both in their 20s? And not real?
Ice-T: A literal child.
Woman: I don’t think you know what literal means…
Ice-T: Oh. You think you’re funny, eh? Well, what do you think the FBI would have to say about this? [pulls out his phone]
Woman: Nothing? They’re cartoon characters.
Ice-T: We’ll see about that. [dials] Hello, FBI? This is the Anti Shipping Unit and—
FBI: Oh my gaaaaawwwdd. Stop calling us.
Ice-T: But I have a nasty Shieth shipper here! They are—
FBI: We investigate real crimes here, detective. You know, real crimes, with real victims? Actual living, human victims! Not cartoon characters! Nobody gives a shit about your anime space twinks! [hangs up]
Ice-T: Lucky you. The FBI doesn’t want your case.
Woman: Please get out of my house.
[camera pans out, they were standing in the woman’s kitchen the entire time]