Author V.S. Naipaul has apparently died, “surrounded by those he loved”, and my first thought was that I do not believe “those he loved” constitute enough people to actually surround a man.
FOR REAL, I JUST WATCHED A VIDEO OF A GIRL DRESSING UP AS ANNA AND SHE WENT TO HER LOCAL MALL
SHE WENT INTO THE DISNEY STORE
WHEN A LITTLE GIRL CAME UP TO HER AND TRIED TO TALK TO HER
THE COSPLAYER WALKED AWAY
AND LOOKED AT THE LITTLE GIRL LIKE SHE WAS NUTS
THAT IS HORRIBLE
I USED TO DRESS UP AS SNOW WHITE FOR CHARITY EVENTS WITH CHILDREN
I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW AWKWARD IT WAS WHEN OUR ELSA DID NOT TALK TO CHILDREN
SHE WAS NOT INTERESTED IN TALKING OR BEING AROUND THE KIDS AND THAT MAKES THE KIDS UNCOMFORTABLE!!!
IF YOU ARE COSPLAYING A CHARACTER THAT IS POPULAR AMONG CHILDREN, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE NICE TO KIDS
TO THEM, THEY ARE ACTUALLY MEETING THIS CHARACTER THAT THEY LOVE OR KNOW
IT IS UP TO YOU TO NOT BE A DICK
You also gotta know that if you’re going somewhere where there will be children and you’re in a costume even slightly similar to a Disney character they will think you are that character.
My hair is dyed white and at last year’s Ren Fest I was dressed as a water nymph. So i was in all blue, with glittery blue heeled boots on. Personally, I would have never thought that I looked like Elsa. I had leggings on, not a dress. And no ice themed anything. But that didn’t stop the sweetest little princess from asking me if I was Elsa.
I’ll admit that I was thrown for a loop, since I thought I was a pretty convincing mermaid on land with my scale print leggings. But I’m not a dick so I quickly recovered and said I was her cousin. Kids are more than happy to accept that and she smiled then shyly ran back to her mom to tell her she met Elsa’s cousin.
If you’re in a glittery costume of any sort, in a place where children will be, be prepared to be nice to them. Otherwise you’re just a jerk. No one likes jerks.
Don’t be a dick.
Seriously. If I go anywhere in ANY costume, no matter if I’m a princess, hero, or villain, I’m nice to the kids. They just wanna play!
I don’t even like kids, but one of the most rewarding cosplay moments I’ve had was interacting with littluns as Rose Quartz. Every kid got a hug if their parents said it was okay. Every kid got told that they were very special because they’re a human being. I’m looking forward to doing it again this year, because giving a kid a moment of genuine magic really is something else. It doesn’t hurt you to smile at a child.
When I cosplay Pearl I have precious little ones come up to me and you better bet I goof with them about how gross eating is or how loud amethyst is (and pretend to get a sooooo offended when they say someone else is their favorite gem)
You are making magic real for those kids in that moment and if you aren’t prepared for that, maybe think twice before cosplaying that character. I had a child completely frozen in disbelief and joy over seeing me, a character from a show they love, that’s power you have to wield responsibly.
It’s not just with popular lady characters. My best little-kid-cosplay-moment was when I was cosplaying Thor (not lady Thor from the comics, my own version of genderbent MCU Thor). I was walking through the dealer’s hall and suddenly saw a gaggle of Tiny Avengers in those Walmart costumes barrelling towards me. They crowded me in excitement and asked where Loki was because they wanted to find him and beat him up (I told them to give him an extra punch from me when they found him), then all six tried to crawl into my lap when I said yes to a photo. Cutest thing ever.
BE NICE TO KIDS WHEN YOU’RE IN COSTUME.
//If you’re going to be cosplaying -any- character that children will recognize, BE NICE TO KIDS!! To them, you -are- that character. And you have no right, what so ever, to destroy the illusion of what, to them, is a magical moment.
When I cosplay Batman, to little kids, I am Batman. And it is such an amazing experience to have kids run up to me and want a hug, and tell me about how when they grow up they want to fight bad guys too. I can’t fathom someone being so rude as to ignore them.
I have a friend who cosplays Han Solo, and a little girl was so excited to see him that when he knelt down to talk to her, she hugged onto him and didn’t want to let go for ten minutes.
Also, remember IF THERE IS A LOST CHILD AT A CONVENTION, AND YOU ARE COSPLAYING A PRINCESS OR A SUPER HERO, THE CHILD WILL GO TO YOU FOR HELP LONG BEFORE THEY THINK TO APPROACH A SECURITY OFFICER!!! You have a duty to help that child! Help them calm down, escort them to the nearest safe zone, and inform a security officer that the child has misplaced their parents/guardians. -Never- use the term ‘lost child’ in front of the kid, it’s the parents who wandered off and got lost, not the child.
Read this, then read it again.
this is why, no matter who I cosplay, I’m in character to everyone I’ll meet, whether they’re adults, kids, or teens like me. super important, honestly
I can’t wait to cosplay as some Really Recognizable characters (Wonder Woman, Shovel Knight lol) because I want to play with the kiddossssss
Most “gay” humor on this website isn’t funny. It’s actually the opposite of funny. Every time I see a “joke” about “the Straights are so dumb and lame and abusive (because you know, joking about abuse is kawaii!)” or using “hetero” as an insult in some scenario it instantly makes me feel like I drank orange juice after brushing my teeth.
Sorry but your jokes about “[insert completely mundane thing here] is Gay Culture” or “Straight Culture is [insert negative thing here]” or “Haha The Hets are so silly with their dysfunctional marriages and boring restrictive lifestyles” or “Asexuals are okay but YOU’RE ON THIN ICE” aren’t funny, they’re gross. They’re the citrus-and-mint of jokes. Get better material.
Abuse survivors have every right to ‘police’ your ship if it’s abusive or offensive! This stuff is harmful to us. Seriously dudes, stop.
This doesn’t count coping ships, but you should probably find a different way to cope.
The thing is: you are nobody’s psychologist, so it’s not your place to decide what they do about their mental health. Sure, it’s your opinion, feel free to have it, but people are free to eyeroll at your arrogance and disregard it.
If you do truly care about helping abuse survivors, I suggest educating yourself on the many different effects abuse can have on people, on the many different coping strategies (some of which which might not be for you, but healthy and helpful to others), and generally being open to people having different opinions than you – although they have experienced similar things – and not being somehow ‘unhealthy’ or ‘disturbed’ for it.
Sometimes that hurts, I get it. Some people hold opinions and like things that disgust me or even trigger me. But as long as they’re not forcing me to participate in it/read it/watch it, that’s fine. And ‘posting your fanfic/fan art/head canons online with tags so everyone knows what is in it and how to avoid it’ does not count as ‘forcing it down my throat’ even remotely.
Our wish not to feel emotional distress doesn’t trump other people’s right to free expression. That can’t be how society works, because then anybody could make demands of ‘stop doing XYZ’ of anyone else, about absolutely everything. And no, fictional content you find distasteful or even harmful is no different – there’s laws against ‘this person is actively engaging with me and deliberately causing me harm’, there’s no laws against ‘this person writes stories by which I feel hurt when I read them’. And there’s no moral obligation either. No matter how legitimate the pain is.
OP, grow a spine, grow some brains, take your meds, attend therapy, do your group sessions, fucking do the work it takes to HEAL your damn self, because the rest of us have scars and wounds of our own, and no time, energy or obligation to take care of your booboos for you, especially when you’re using your pain as an excuse to be an abuser yourself.
Parents and Guardians NEED to talk to kids about kink.
Age appropriate sexual education is the single most important tool parents have to prevent and stop ongoing sexual abuse.
Every presentation I’ve ever watched on this topic has been clear: Most victims have told someone they’re being abused long before the abuse is discovered by investigators. The issue is they’re either not believed or they don’t have the words to communicate that they’re being harmed. There’s a misconception that all child molesters are pedophiles (they aren’t) so moms don’t believe accusations against their boyfriends, because their boyfriend couldn’t be a pedophile – you don’t need to be a pedophile to be a sexual predator. Many sexual predators simple target the vulnerable. One thing that makes children vulnerable is they lack understanding of what’s happening to them and they lack the vocabulary to report.
Parents don’t want to teach their kids anatomical words, privates, p-p, no-no – we don’t give children clear language. If someone hurt them, they can’t say where they were hurt. It’s just body parts, head, shoulders, knees and toes and in between your legs you have a penis or a vagina. It’s not a comfortable conversation, and even many parents of teen leave this discussion to sex programs at school (if any exists) or the internet.
We also, unfortunately, have to educate minors about kink. If minors don’t know what a kink is they will not be able to recognize if an adult is tricking them into doing something that turns them on that doesn’t involve touching their private parts or doing anything overtly sexual. The article linked above discusses how predators use Youtube challenges to trick kids into producing fetish content videos.
Cosplayers: be careful how you pose and what you do on cameras. We’re aware of up-skirting and creepers trying to sneak close up shots of your butt, but there’s also people out there who will try to trick you into producing fetish content. One example, macrophiles (people with a fetish for giants) who use forced perspective photography to make girls and women they photograph look giant without telling the subjects what they were doing or why they wanted to do it. (this happened to a cosplayer I know, and she wasn’t the only victim).
If the pose or action seems weird, be careful!
Parents, pay attention to what your children are doing on youtube and who they’re talking to online (including what challenges they’re getting).
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