robotmango:

awed-frog:

robotmango:

it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning

@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast – this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.

this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun

erikkillmongerdontpullout:

ditto-licious:

writingfail:

thebaconsandwichofregret:

lizzysmart:

sandandglass:

Fox News shocked that Harvard students think the US is a greater threat to world peace than ISIS. Students who don’t agree with Fox are ‘twisted’, elitist and wrong apparently. 

Source

Next Gen STAND UP

Did they miss the part where these kids said that ISIS wouldn’t exist without Imperialist intervention in areas like the Middle East? (I’m not singling out America because I’m British and we’ve been fucking up the world since long before America has)

I love how the Harvard students give strong arguments on why the U.S. (and its allies, of course, such as Canada and Western Europe) is one of the biggest threats to world peace and all Fox News can say is “this—this is just a FAD”

fuck fox news

They’ve been saying this since forever. Literally the entire 20th century but most notably with the Vietnam war: college kids are dumb and hating America/knowing about American imperialism is just a fad of the counter culture.

superheroladies:

I’m gonna be real here for a sec, and I’m sorry for being the one to say it. Every single one of you who is advocating for shows that tried to be inclusive and had hiccups to be voted down and be punished by attempting to lower the ratings and sending messages to the higher ups are playing themselves. You all turned on SU, Korra, Voltron, and will turn on the Dragon Prince and She-Ra as well when those also turn out to be flawed shows and not peak respectability politics as well. There is no such thing as a perfect show, let alone the prefect rep. 

Do you really believe execs care about what you’re saying? All that they will see is that people hate shows with reps, and that shows with reps get the most hate and more so than shows that don’t even try, so the message to them is that we shouldn’t try since people will eventually turn on them. All you’re doing is making creators see what these shows go through and go you know what, it’s not worth it. Because the level of outright malice is vicious and horrifying. 

Execs don’t care what you’re saying all they see is that you hated the rep so to them it’s better to not have rep. If you think big corporations care about your plight then you are heavily misguided. Creators have to fight and fight to get scraps and there are many internal politics on what goes down and how. They aren’t kidding when they say they fight for it. Shows that try will always be held on a higher standard and when that isn’t met it’s punished for trying and those above the shows will go welp, better never include those nasty queers if they’re gonna hate it. Thats’ the bitter reality of it and it will never change so choose your words and actions carefully. 

duckwhatduck:

starfoozle:

executeness:

glumshoe:

queenofthefae:

glumshoe:

Clarification: is there a set, standard amount of time, such as “one second”, that a “measure” of music lasts…? I understand that “4/4 time” means “four beats per measure”, but unless the length of time a “measure” lasts is consistent between songs, how does that make sense?

absolutely not; timing in music is not dependent on measure length, but instead based entirely on tempo. there ARE certain time signatures that are typically faster, such as 6/8, but there is no true standard and even 6/8 can be slower than 4/4, depending on the tempo. hope that helps!

who is responsible for this

Larghissimo — very, very slow (20 bpm and below) Translation*: plenty of time to get distracted between measures. Or notes.

Grave — slow and solemn (20–40 bpm) Translation: just serious enough for nervous laughter during rests. Avoid eye contact with anyone.

Lento — slowly (40–60 bpm) Translation: it is actually possible to fall asleep while playing an instrument, to the confusion and horror of your teacher.

Largo — broadly (40–60 bpm) Translation: dramatic grand gestures while sober. Think sweeping.

Larghetto — rather broadly (60–66 bpm) Translation: dramatic grand gestures while drunk. Slightly more manic or erratic

Adagio — slow and stately (literally, “at ease”) (66–76 bpm) Translation: Julie Andrews, Queen of Genovia, is entering the room. Plenty of time to focus on hitting the right notes b/c u cannot fuck this up.

Adagietto — rather slow (70–80 bpm) Translation: the high school graduating class of 2018 is entering the room. 40% elated 70% bored. Mostly restrained by the staff, still want this over with.

Andante moderato — a bit slower than andante. Translation: a steady meander in the woods. Fast enough to be interesting, slow enough to savor.

Andante — at a walking pace (76–108 bpm) Translation: CPR speed! Do you have Stayin Alive or Another One Bites the Dust in your head? Either way good luck remembering your melody now.

Andantino – slightly faster than andante. Translation: Just saw someone you do NOT want to talk to but you don’t want to draw attention. Always feels slightly forced. That’s fine.

Moderato — moderately (108–120 bpm) Translation: Marching is the tenuous balance between comfortable speed for walking and comfortable speed for music. Much easier when not in a parade.

Allegretto — moderately fast (but less so than allegro). Translation: the piece is probably in moderato but you’re having fun! You totally got this! Everything’s a bit fast but you’re still hitting all the notes! Go you!

Allegro moderato — moderately quick (112–124 bpm) Translation: Approximately dancing speed, depending on your confidence and the degree to which you know where all your limbs are at any given time. Jam a little in your seat. It’s okay.

Allegro — fast, quickly and bright (120–168 bpm). Playful, for flirting without words. Wink as needed without losing your place.

Vivace — lively and fast (≈140 bpm) (quicker than allegro) Translation: That was probably too much coffee but it’s FINE. It’s probably not physically possible for your heart to beat out of your chest.

Vivacissimo — very fast and lively. Translation: Either you’re showing off or the composer wanted you to suffer. Probably the former.

Allegrissimo — very fast. Translation: You’re not one of those aerobic respirators are you? You can breathe when we finish this piece. Hold on for the ride.

Presto — very fast (168–200 bpm) Translation: use popcorn popping as your metronome. Doesn’t actually have a regular beat but at this speed neither do you.

Prestissimo — extremely fast (more than 200bpm) Translation: you don’t know what’s happening and neither does your conductor if you have one. Reeds are splitting, strings are snapping, wind instruments can’t feel their tongues. Flail your fingers and prey.*.

(http://www.classicalmusiccity.com/search/article.php?vars=446/Basic-Tempo-Markings.html)

*I haven’t touched my flute in four years

**Yes I meant prey I’m a godless carnivore

#is this the schmidt pain index of tempo #did you personally allow different tempos to bite you

And then there’s cut common time, for when you just want to upset everyone as well as make them play really fast. And pretend you’re normal 4/4 when you’re NOT, YOU’RE A TRICKSY DUPLICITOUS MEANIE