Sometimes it’s really lonely being an author. Because when you’re writing, you’re doing it alone, and there’s no one there to gush over silly feelings with you.
And I suppose that’s why reader comments are important to authors. It’s not about the compliments. It’s that we’ve been alone with our thoughts this whole time. It’s an awesome feeling when a friend shows up to share them with you.
Are you saying that self harm and massive blood loss are. Healthier. Than being spanked by a partner in a controlled fashion because. I.
There’s.
There’s so much happening here. Do you think mentally ill people can’t fuck? Do you think doms are rapists? Do you think hitting someone is rape? DO YOU THINK CONSENSUAL SEX IS RAPE????
I don’t even know where to. To begin so just.
Listen.
Listen, okay.
Step one on the staircase of “stop trying to punish your body for being sick,” also known as “stop self harming,” is to replace high risk forms of self harm like trying to kill yourself with much lower risk ones that still provide you the sense of control, relief, or physical grounding that you are seeking.
This NECESSARY INTERIM MEASURE is what allows you to begin dealing with the extremely painful, difficult process of healing.
Also, did you just fucking say you would rather your friend RISK DEATH than do kink??????????????????????
Just.
Like.
I would rather risk death than deal with you right now, holy shit.
Hey, anon, here’s a quick guide to how to deal with being in your situation:
1) Evaluate your discomfort. Are you uncomfortable with the situation because you’re worried that your friend is being taken advantage of, or because it’s something you don’t understand or have built up an irrational sense of righteousness about? Hint: if you’d rather your friend risk extreme personal injury or death, it’s probably the latter, and you should probably just deal with that on your own.
2) If you are actually genuinely concerned about your friend, the first thing you should do is go talk to them, and let them have a say in how the situation gets handled. I mean, if you really respected their agency, you would probably not be so willing to label a situation they’re in as “definitely rape” because you have some vague idea about what they can and cannot consent to, but hey, maybe shit is really bad and you just don’t know how to deal with it. It’s possible.
3) Don’t drag your friend’s situation out in front of a bunch of strangers on the internet as a way to support your moral superiority. That’s taking advantage of them and speaking over them and it’s gross and just don’t. If you need support or advice, that’s one thing, but bringing it up as a talking point with someone you disagree with is not that.
Also notice the anon’s wording.
“my friend has her bf whip her ass”
That’s clearly someone who WANTS to be spanked, it’s not even a case of where the guy has a spanking fetish himself (which, y’know, is just as valid) but it’s clearly the woman who has the impact play kink, and her boyfriend is participating in it at her request, not the other way around. So how is it possible that he’s ‘taking advantage of her’ ?????
Also
How is impact play ‘rape’? Not that there’s anything wrong with consensual noncon play either but ????? They’re two completely different things.
Anon, do you think that throwing out a million buzzwords and hoping that one will stick is any good way to create an argument? Because it’s pretty much the opposite of that. Please lay off the swerf kool-aid and pet a cat or something.
“at least if she was cutting”
Holy shit, anon, you are a terrible friend just for thinking that.
Anon: Has it occurred to you, at all, that you’re a fucking horrible friend? Why? Because your focus is, quite obviously, not at all on your friend’s well-being. It’s focused squarely on her boyfriend and what you define as disgusting sexual gratification that he might be getting and shouldn’t (according to you). This is your focus, this is what’s important to you about this situation. Not your friend, not the fact that being spanked on the butt is way, way safer than cutting her flesh open. No, it’s your desire to judge and control other people’s – to you deviant – sexuality, it’s: “He is getting sexual gratification in a way I disapprove of. At least if she harms herself, then what I disapprove of will stop, and that’s the thing that matters most here.”
My conclusion? Your friend isn’t your friend, or at least you’re not hers. She needs better friends.
Anon, examine your own discomfort with sexual arousal and deal with it. Stop projecting your personal issues onto other people, and learn how to be an actual friend.
I silently pronounce it ‘Ab-skess’ in my head and that’s how come I don’t misspell ‘abscess’, which is said to be a very common thing to do.
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