om-nom-berries:

Test page for a new short story collection of Rey/KyloBen comics. The basis of this comic is an AU where Ben is force sensitive, but ends up working for his father in his shipping business (and maybe a little smuggling on the side) while Rey is discovered by Luke when she’s young and grows up learning to be a jedi. But then the First Order come looking for Luke and his new order and they all scatter for safety, but now Rey needs Ben’s help to reunite with her master.

This was also an excuse to draw Ben in a low-cut shirt. 😀

I finally acquired a Cintiq and wanted to test out how much faster it is to digitally create a page. It was fairly easy-going, so I think I’m going to try to do the whole thing digitally for the first time.

There’s a strain of ass-kissing that really pisses me off. The kind that comes from people who didn’t want much to do with me before, who didn’t think I was worth their time, who were assholes at some point and never bothered to address it, to clear the air, to apologize, make amends, to accept my apology for my part in a mutual fuck up, or who said they did but made it very clear afterwards that they really didn’t. The kind from people who left me believing that they thought I was shit, but now suddenly want to be up against my skin, singing my praises, because wow, look at you now, that’s so great, let’s be friends. The kind from people who think if they just wait long enough, everything becomes water under the bridge and something’s wrong with you if it doesn’t.

Because the sudden excess praise sounds mercenary, cheap and insincere. At least when I was sorry I said so and didn’t wait a fucking decade to do it either. When people wanted nothing to do with me I stayed the hell out of their way. I am not going to be made uncomfortable putting up with saccharine overattention and having to be wary all the time about being used just because maaaaybe their conscience finally rolled over in its sleep. Whatever they want from me, they’ll have to find somewhere else. I live with my regrets, they can learn to live with theirs.

virgodura:

sespursongles:

And speaking of Sophia Tolstoy, her diaries are just so depressing. 

“I am to gratify his pleasure and nurse his child, I am a piece of household furniture, I am a woman. I try to suppress all human feelings. When the machine is working properly it heats the milk, knits a blanket, makes little requests and bustles about trying not to think […].“

She wrote this when she was 19, one year into her marriage to Leo and as she was pregnant with the first of his 13 children.

A few years later, when she was 25 or so:

“I am so often alone with my thoughts that the need to write in my diary comes quite naturally … Now I am well again and not pregnant—it terrifies me how often I have been in that condition. He said that for him being young meant “I can achieve anything”. For me […] reason tells me that there is nothing I either want or can do beyond nursing, eating, drinking, sleeping, and loving and caring for my husband and babies, all of which I know is happiness of a kind, but why do I feel so woeful all the time, and weep as I did yesterday? I am writing this now with the pleasantly exciting sense that nobody will ever read it, so I can be quite frank with myself […].“

During her 12th pregnancy she wrote about taking scalding baths and jumping from high pieces of furniture to try and miscarry.  And at one point while reading her husband’s diary (which he told her to read) she found the sentence “There is no such thing as love, only the physical need for intercourse and the practical need for a life companion.” In her own diary she wrote “They ebb and flow like waves, these times when I realise how lonely I am and want only to cry…”

A few years before her husband’s death, she published a cycle of prose poems titled “Groans”, under the pseudonym “A Tired Woman”.

the most depressing quote from her diaries:

“I have served a genius for almost forty years. Hundreds of times I have felt my intellectual energy stir within me and all sorts of desires – a longing for education, a love of music and the arts… And time and again I have crushed and smothered these longings… Everyone asks, “But why should a worthless woman like you need an intellectual or artistic life?” To this question I can only reply: “I don’t know, but eternally suppressing it to serve a genius is a great misfortune.”

corseque:

romance 101 — it’s not enough to hinge the whole thing on ‘will they or won’t they’ the real interest is the lack the characters have within them, and how they fill that lack with the help of/because of the other person. We’re not looking at two people kissing, we’re looking at the characters getting assistance, guidance, emotional completion, maturation, transformation, spiritual apogee, building new foundations, physical/emotional safety, old wounds healing, becoming a stronger and braver person because they met their love.